I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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