the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We're too hungover to prance.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
there is glitter all over my balls
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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