There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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