when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I cut my penus on the lid.
do herpes really smell.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My vagina is officially offended.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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