I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
