so let's talk penis.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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