Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
