That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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