Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
