What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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