You're completely useless in the revolution.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
