Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
