We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
