I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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