like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
