in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize