I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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