dude i'm inner monologue high
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is the high leading the old right now
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
