my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
