So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There r osticjed everywhere
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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