so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
