I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need water and some morals
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize