look no pants
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
