How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I need a beard to bite.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
