My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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