Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
