North Korea, Best Korea!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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