you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
