yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
