Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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