Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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