So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
