I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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