You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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