i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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