Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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