How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
