Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
