You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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