If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize