Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
