so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
