Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
