I wannas sexs uuuuu
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
