So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
