He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
