they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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