i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
