Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
