And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
