Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
