For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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