apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
