I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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