I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
