I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
