best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
