Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
