STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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