i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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