we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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