Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
