you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
