Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
