Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
