Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
