oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
