she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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