So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
