Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
