Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
