I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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