Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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