is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize