I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
